Submission, something often misconstrued as leading to weakness or to become powerless in a true D/S relationship. On the contrary, in addition to being competent and capable, the most dedicated of submissives should strive to exhibit the following behaviors in their service, in no particular order:
- RESPECT YOUR DOM’S TIME AND SPACE:
Common courtesy shouldn’t be difficult. Your Dom has a life, people to see, money to make. If you have the privilege of messaging them directly, understand they likely can’t respond immediately, and in the same vein, don’t expect them to drop everything to make a last minute session with you. If you’re in such high graces with your Dom that they DO make exceptions for you, compensate them accordingly; gifts, money, worship.
- COMMUNICATE RESPECTFULLY:
Language is a spectrum, and communication is one of the largest pillars of any interpersonal relationship, but paramount in the context of BDSM. Whether in session, or in the day to day, address and speak to your Dom with utmost respect. Use their honorific, pronouns, say please, thank you, text in full sentences and employ your best vocabulary. Don’t be rude or flippant, and don’t be horny 24/7, act with maturity.
If you’re lucky enough to warrant notifications in their phone, be thorough in a message, rather than shotgunning 15 separate texts to get a simple point across.
- SHOW YOUR APPRECIATION:
As a submissive, you are receiving special attention built upon a variety of honed skill sets pertaining to emotional intelligence, communication, psychology, sexual anatomy, and *safety*. Sure, you’re being dominated. LUCKY YOU!!
Give gifts, entertain their interests, worship them with sincerity. Show them gratitude for enriching your life with their presence.
- LISTEN TO DIRECTIONS AND ADVICE:
If your Dom is generous enough to provide advice on a particular aspect of your life and behaviors, know they likely have your best interests in mind. Don’t accept things blindly, but consider their words in relation to yourself. Pay attention to wisdom shared, and act upon suggested solutions if practical.
- BUDGET YOUR FINANCES RESPONSIBLY:
Being under the care and service of a professional Dom is a luxury. It is not a necessity for life, even though it sure may feel like it at the peaks of twisted euphoria. Budget your expenses and gifts within your means. If you’re not making six figures and you really want to dedicate yourself, get a second source of income.
- BE HONEST:
Be truthful and sincere in your submission. Don’t just say things that your Dom wants to hear. Submission is about sincere behavior, not just verbal pleasantries and dungeon sessions. Be real to yourself and your Dom, and I guarantee you’ll get a lot more out of the dynamic.
- BE EAGER
Unless your dynamic is explicitly rooted in a stew of constant masochistic despair, get excited about the freaky stuff you’re asking to do or have done to you. Don’t be beige, shine your best colors.