Author: riffruff

  • To Be Collared: Triumph Through Tethering Chains

    In the Pet Play community, it’s a common sentiment and joking point that when the leash and collar comes out, the mind goes blank. “Head empty, no thoughts, only Puppy”–or similar captions are often proudly emblazoned upon various pictures and clips spread across many social media platforms. It’s a point of vulnerability, to give up control, to lend one’s physical will to their handler. To be something nearing helpless.

    For this working dog, personally, in the hands of Pepper, I feel my experience may differ from most. To give any curious readers a glance at the cards I’ve been dealt; I was born with cerebral palsy, asthma, scoliosis, and sparing harsh details– I am a victim of pervasive domestic abuse. The sum of all this means I have spent the majority of my life being doubted by society, family, and partners. “Helpless” was a label forced upon me.

    In the months I have been under Pepper’s care, they have enforced a healthier perception of my own capabilities, both physical and mental, and my potential to achieve success in a plethora of ways. Pepper’s circus of care is one of vigor and calculated, clever planning. 

    In my first Pet Play session with Pepper, rather than being “reduced” to a dog, Pepper had me play fetch while keeping note of how I navigated stairs (with too much effort). Once I had officially donned a chain leash for the first time, next thing I knew I was doing pull ups off of a steel girder as my new handler encouraged me with gusto. 

    My rehabilitation under Pepper led to collared walks in the park where I practiced navigating stairs with less aid. With time and dedication, I could walk up and down stairs without any support, and what’s more, while carrying items for my handler and others in tandem. For me, this was a very large milestone, as I had never been able to walk down stairs without a rail or helping hand prior to meeting Pepper. 

    Fast forward three months, and while on leash at a local bar, I’m tested at random simply by being led perpendicularly over the curb of a ramp without pause before proceeding up and to the doorway; an amused “Good Job, Puppy” from Pepper denoted my success in a small moment, encapsulating our dynamic. 

    To be collared on Pepper’s lead is to be encouraged, to be believed in, as much as it is to be vulnerable. I feel there’s something poetic in having a direct link between the point where my blood runs so preciously, to the hands of the individual guiding me in actualization while testing my mettle. 

    Rather than letting reality slip away as the carbineer clasps over the D-ring at my neck, my reality sharpens, my attention arranges out of the haze of ADHD and into focus, and I feel alive, ready for whatever task Pepper puts me to. There is so much more than “Puppy” in my headspace. There is me, a working dog, my handler, my goals, their goals, and whatever adventure or job I’ve gotten involved in. 

    On Pepper’s lead, I walk a path towards triumph, wagging all the while.

  • Behaviors of the Ideal Submissive: Reflections of a Loyal Service Dog

    Submission, something often misconstrued as leading to weakness or to become powerless in a true D/S relationship. On the contrary, in addition to being competent and capable, the most dedicated of submissives should strive to exhibit the following behaviors in their service, in no particular order:

    1. RESPECT YOUR DOM’S TIME AND SPACE:

      Common courtesy shouldn’t be difficult. Your Dom has a life, people to see, money to make. If you have the privilege of messaging them directly, understand they likely can’t respond immediately, and in the same vein, don’t expect them to drop everything to make a last minute session with you. If you’re in such high graces with your Dom that they DO make exceptions for you, compensate them accordingly; gifts, money, worship. 
    1. COMMUNICATE RESPECTFULLY:

      Language is a spectrum, and communication is one of the largest pillars of any interpersonal relationship, but paramount in the context of BDSM. Whether in session, or in the day to day, address and speak to your Dom with utmost respect. Use their honorific, pronouns, say please, thank you, text in full sentences and employ your best vocabulary. Don’t be rude or flippant, and don’t be horny 24/7, act with maturity.

      If you’re lucky enough to warrant notifications in their phone, be thorough in a message, rather than shotgunning 15 separate texts to get a simple point across.
    1. SHOW YOUR APPRECIATION:

      As a submissive, you are receiving special attention built upon a variety of honed skill sets pertaining to emotional intelligence, communication, psychology, sexual anatomy, and *safety*. Sure, you’re being dominated. LUCKY YOU!! 

      Give gifts, entertain their interests, worship them with sincerity. Show them gratitude for enriching your life with their presence. 
    1. LISTEN TO DIRECTIONS AND ADVICE:

      If your Dom is generous enough to provide advice on a particular aspect of your life and behaviors, know they likely have your best interests in mind. Don’t accept things blindly, but consider their words in relation to yourself. Pay attention to wisdom shared, and act upon suggested solutions if practical. 
    1. BUDGET YOUR FINANCES RESPONSIBLY:

      Being under the care and service of a professional Dom is a luxury. It is not a necessity for life, even though it sure may feel like it at the peaks of twisted euphoria. Budget your expenses and gifts within your means. If you’re not making six figures and you really want to dedicate yourself, get a second source of income. 
    1. BE HONEST:

      Be truthful and sincere in your submission. Don’t just say things that your Dom wants to hear. Submission is about sincere behavior, not just verbal pleasantries and dungeon sessions. Be real to yourself and your Dom, and I guarantee you’ll get a lot more out of the dynamic. 
    1. BE EAGER

      Unless your dynamic is explicitly rooted in a stew of constant masochistic despair, get excited about the freaky stuff you’re asking to do or have done to you. Don’t be beige, shine your best colors.